It's been less than 24 hours since the teeth pulling marathon that was yesterday afternoon and life goes on, despite my head having more new holes than a recent mafia hit. The vicodin treatment continues and while not quite making me loopy, it does dull the pain. And the senses. My wit is no longer quite as quick as my typical bedroom performance and I feel about as sharp as a special ed class that got held back three grades. Still, it could be worse. I went to work for about half a day today and came home and ran three miles just to prove that I could. Thanks to the piss-poor diet of ice cream and soup backed by the constipation brought on with the antibiotics, I felt some exercise was in order no matter what I felt like.
But rather than spend another update rambling on about this and that, I decided that I was going to introduce you to a special friend of mine by the name of Skip Walker. Skip Walker is the man, a real power mover in the farming industry. Skip Walker dates supermodels just to save you the trouble. Skip Walker pays retail price even though he knows he doesn't have to. Skip Walker is broadcast in HDTV 24 hours a day and there isn't a remote in the world that can change his channel. Skip Walker thinks about you during bowel movements simply because that is the kind of guy that Skip Walker is. Skip Walker travels the world via motorized wheelchair in hopes that it'll someday inspire the handicapped to walk again. Skip Walker has the power to make laundry detergent with his mind but he only uses his power for good.
Skip Walker was an extra on "Love Boat" but the scene he was in got cut before it went on the air. But he isn't bitter. Skip Walker doesn't read Playboy for the articles because Skip Walker is illiterate. Skip Walker knows where Jimmy Hoffa is buried. Skip Walker is dropping thunderous elbows on you from the turnbuckles of life. Skip Walker has broken every single law ever invented. Twice. Skip Walker grew a pair of wings and once raced a 747 from Boston to Dallas. Skip Walker was the original Wrigley's Doublemint twin. Skip Walker was once offered the lead role in Star Wars but he turned it down to pursue life as a truck driver. Skip Walker dines on endangered species because he likes variety. Skip Walker once had a breast reduction because he found them distracting to his work.
Skip Walker hates milk but drinks it anyway just to spite the cows of the world. Skip Walker runs red lights because he is colorblind and doesn't care if people know it. Skip Walker can freestyle rap with the best of MCs but refuses because rhyming is against his religion. Skip Walker travels often and always sends himself postcards of where he has been. Skip Walker dreams of pink flowers and unicorns and he's not afraid to admit it. Skip Walker lives without shame and flies around in a jetpack just to prove it to you. Skip Walker carries a walkie talkie instead of a cell phone because he thinks cell phones are just a fad. Skip Walker is the real Iron Chef. Skip Walker refuses to recognize US Customs laws and continues to import snakes from France despite repeated warnings. Skip Walker admits that he was never able to color inside the lines and that is one of his biggest disappointments.
Skip Walker doesn't advocate prescription drugs but that's largely because no one has ever asked him to. Skip Walker once set fire to a McDonalds because they refused to serve him breakfast. Skip Walker is no criminal but he once found himself involved in a marathon and was running with the wrong crowd. Skip Walker earns frequent flyer miles despite never having set foot on a plane. Skip Walker eats marshmellow peanuts because he likes the color orange. Skip Walker has lost more money in his couch than you will make all year and he's not ashamed about it. Skip Walker's nutrition label reads like a bottle of fine water. Skip Walker traveled to the moon just to get away from it all. Skip Walker refuses to eat potato chips because he despises Irish people. Skip Walker is a walking dictionary and doesn't need to be magniloquent to prove it.
Skip Walker thinks all politicians are scum except for that one guy from South Dakota. Skip Walker once drank sewer water because he thought that it would infuse him with great power. And it did. Skip Walker is better than Superman ever was and doesn't need a stupid cape to prove it. Skip Walker owns a chain of soup kitchens in Zimbabwe. Skip Walker is giving away free pennies to the first 100 people he meets. Skip Walker will compose and read your eulogy before you're dead, just so that you can hear all the nice things he has to say about you. You would be wise to hold your tongue when criticizing Skip Walker because he's killed people for less. Skip Walker hates buy one get one free deals. Skip Walker is going to bring back the turtleneck because he thinks it's the next great fashion craze. Skip Walker will sneak into your house late at night and clean your bathroom because he hates the way you live. Skip Walker knows poverty.
Skip Walker is currently ghostwriting an autobiography of you and he plans to release it on audio tape. Skip Walker bootlegs VHS tapes in his spare time. Skip Walker is lawsuit happy. Skip Walker will argue with you for hours about the difference of tech trance and progressive trance because he feels the subtleties are important. Skip Walker uses coupons for items that are no longer on sale and gets away with it every time. Skip Walker invented the color "Burnt Sienna" while stationed in Guam. Skip Walker cares about you.
But rather than spend another update rambling on about this and that, I decided that I was going to introduce you to a special friend of mine by the name of Skip Walker. Skip Walker is the man, a real power mover in the farming industry. Skip Walker dates supermodels just to save you the trouble. Skip Walker pays retail price even though he knows he doesn't have to. Skip Walker is broadcast in HDTV 24 hours a day and there isn't a remote in the world that can change his channel. Skip Walker thinks about you during bowel movements simply because that is the kind of guy that Skip Walker is. Skip Walker travels the world via motorized wheelchair in hopes that it'll someday inspire the handicapped to walk again. Skip Walker has the power to make laundry detergent with his mind but he only uses his power for good.
Skip Walker was an extra on "Love Boat" but the scene he was in got cut before it went on the air. But he isn't bitter. Skip Walker doesn't read Playboy for the articles because Skip Walker is illiterate. Skip Walker knows where Jimmy Hoffa is buried. Skip Walker is dropping thunderous elbows on you from the turnbuckles of life. Skip Walker has broken every single law ever invented. Twice. Skip Walker grew a pair of wings and once raced a 747 from Boston to Dallas. Skip Walker was the original Wrigley's Doublemint twin. Skip Walker was once offered the lead role in Star Wars but he turned it down to pursue life as a truck driver. Skip Walker dines on endangered species because he likes variety. Skip Walker once had a breast reduction because he found them distracting to his work.
Skip Walker hates milk but drinks it anyway just to spite the cows of the world. Skip Walker runs red lights because he is colorblind and doesn't care if people know it. Skip Walker can freestyle rap with the best of MCs but refuses because rhyming is against his religion. Skip Walker travels often and always sends himself postcards of where he has been. Skip Walker dreams of pink flowers and unicorns and he's not afraid to admit it. Skip Walker lives without shame and flies around in a jetpack just to prove it to you. Skip Walker carries a walkie talkie instead of a cell phone because he thinks cell phones are just a fad. Skip Walker is the real Iron Chef. Skip Walker refuses to recognize US Customs laws and continues to import snakes from France despite repeated warnings. Skip Walker admits that he was never able to color inside the lines and that is one of his biggest disappointments.
Skip Walker doesn't advocate prescription drugs but that's largely because no one has ever asked him to. Skip Walker once set fire to a McDonalds because they refused to serve him breakfast. Skip Walker is no criminal but he once found himself involved in a marathon and was running with the wrong crowd. Skip Walker earns frequent flyer miles despite never having set foot on a plane. Skip Walker eats marshmellow peanuts because he likes the color orange. Skip Walker has lost more money in his couch than you will make all year and he's not ashamed about it. Skip Walker's nutrition label reads like a bottle of fine water. Skip Walker traveled to the moon just to get away from it all. Skip Walker refuses to eat potato chips because he despises Irish people. Skip Walker is a walking dictionary and doesn't need to be magniloquent to prove it.
Skip Walker thinks all politicians are scum except for that one guy from South Dakota. Skip Walker once drank sewer water because he thought that it would infuse him with great power. And it did. Skip Walker is better than Superman ever was and doesn't need a stupid cape to prove it. Skip Walker owns a chain of soup kitchens in Zimbabwe. Skip Walker is giving away free pennies to the first 100 people he meets. Skip Walker will compose and read your eulogy before you're dead, just so that you can hear all the nice things he has to say about you. You would be wise to hold your tongue when criticizing Skip Walker because he's killed people for less. Skip Walker hates buy one get one free deals. Skip Walker is going to bring back the turtleneck because he thinks it's the next great fashion craze. Skip Walker will sneak into your house late at night and clean your bathroom because he hates the way you live. Skip Walker knows poverty.
Skip Walker is currently ghostwriting an autobiography of you and he plans to release it on audio tape. Skip Walker bootlegs VHS tapes in his spare time. Skip Walker is lawsuit happy. Skip Walker will argue with you for hours about the difference of tech trance and progressive trance because he feels the subtleties are important. Skip Walker uses coupons for items that are no longer on sale and gets away with it every time. Skip Walker invented the color "Burnt Sienna" while stationed in Guam. Skip Walker cares about you.
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